THE VERY PULSE OF THE MACHINE

BY MICHAEL SWANWICK

Click.

The radio came on.

“Hell.”

Martha kept her eyes forward, concentrated on walking. Jupiter to one shoulder, Daedalus’s plume to the other. Nothing to it. Just trudge, drag, trudge, drag. Piece of cake.

“Oh.”

She chinned the radio off.

Click.

“Hell. Oh. Kiv. El. Sen.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Martha gave the rope an angry jerk, making the sledge carrying Burton’s body jump and bounce on the sulfur hardpan. “You’re dead, Burton, I’ve checked, there’s a hole in your faceplate big enough to stick a fist through, and I really don’t want to crack up. I’m in kind of a tight spot here and I can’t afford it, okay? So be nice and just shut the fuck up.”

“Not. Bur. Ton.”

“Do it anyway.”

She chinned the radio off again.

Jupiter loomed low on the western horizon, big and bright and beautiful and, after two weeks on Io, easy to ignore. To her left, Daedalus was spewing sulfur and sulfur dioxide in a fan two hundred kilometers high. The plume caught the chill light from an unseen sun and her visor rendered it a pale and lovely blue. Most spectacular view in the universe, and she was in no mood to enjoy it.

Click.

Before the voice could speak again, Martha said, “I am not going crazy, you’re just the voice of my subconscious, I don’t have the time to waste trying to figure out what unresolved psychological conflicts gave rise to all this, and I am not going to listen to anything you have to say.”

Silence.


The moon rover had flipped over at least five times before crashing sideways against a boulder the size of the Sydney Opera House. Martha Kivelsen, timid groundling that she was, was strapped into her seat so tightly that when the universe stopped tumbling, she’d had a hard time unlatching the restraints. Juliet Burton, tall and athletic, so sure of her own luck and agility that she hadn’t bothered, had been thrown into a strut.

The vent-blizzard of sulfur dioxide snow was blinding, though. It was only when Martha had finally crawled out from under its raging whiteness that she was able to look at the suited body she’d dragged free of the wreckage.

She immediately turned away.

Whatever knob or flange had punched the hole in Burton’s helmet had been equally ruthless with her head.

Where a fraction of the vent-blizzard—“lateral plumes” the planetary geologists called them—had been deflected by the boulder, a bank of sulfur dioxide snow had built up. Automatically, without thinking, Martha scooped up double-handfuls and packed them into the helmet. Really, it was a nonsensical thing to do; in a vacuum, the body wasn’t about to rot. On the other hand, it hid that face.

Then Martha did some serious thinking.

For all the fury of the blizzard, there was no turbulence. Because there was no atmosphere to have turbulence in. The sulfur dioxide gushed out straight from the sudden crack that had opened in the rock, falling to the surface miles away in strict obedience to the laws of ballistics. Most of what struck the boulder they’d crashed against would simply stick to it, and the rest would be bounced down to the ground at its feet. So that—this was how she’d gotten out in the first place—it was possible to crawl under the near-horizontal spray and back to the ruins of the moon rover. If she went slowly, the helmet light and her sense of feel ought to be sufficient for a little judicious salvage.

Martha got down on her hands and knees. And as she did, just as quickly as the blizzard had begun—it stopped.

She stood, feeling strangely foolish.

Still, she couldn’t rely on the blizzard staying quiescent. Better hurry, she admonished herself. It might be an intermittent.

Quickly, almost fearfully, picking through the rich litter of wreckage, Martha discovered that the mother tank they used to replenish their airpacks had ruptured. Terrific. That left her own pack, which was one-third empty, two fully charged backup packs, and Burton’s, also one-third empty. It was a ghoulish thing to strip Burton’s suit of her airpack, but it had to be done. Sorry, Julie. That gave her enough oxygen to last, let’s see, almost forty hours.

Then she took a curved div of what had been the moon rover’s hull and a coil of nylon rope, and with two pieces of scrap for makeshift hammer and punch, fashioned a sledge for Burton’s body.

She’d be damned if she was going to leave it behind.


Click.

“This is. Better.”

“Says you.”

Ahead of her stretched the hard, cold sulfur plain. Smooth as glass. Brittle as frozen toffee. Cold as hell. She called up a visor-map and checked her progress. Only forty-five miles of mixed terrain to cross and she’d reach the lander. Then she’d be home free. No sweat, she thought. Io was in tidal lock with Jupiter. So the Father of Planets would stay glued to one fixed spot in the sky. That was as good as a navigation beacon. Just keep Jupiter to your right shoulder, and Daedalus to your left. You’ll come out fine.

“Sulfur is. Triboelectric.”

“Don’t hold it in. What are you really trying to say?”

“And now I see. With eye serene. The very. Pulse. Of the machine.” A pause. “Wordsworth.”

Which, except for the halting delivery, was so much like Burton, with her classical education and love of classical poets like Spenser and Ginsberg and Plath, that for a second Martha was taken aback. Burton was a terrible poetry bore, but her enthusiasm had been genuine, and now Martha was sorry for every time she’d met those quotations with rolled eyes or a flip remark. But there’d be time enough for grieving later. Right now she had to concentrate on the task at hand.

The colors of the plain were dim and brownish. With a few quick chin-taps, she cranked up their intensity. Her vision filled with yellows, oranges, reds—intense wax crayon colors. Martha decided she liked them best that way.

For all its Crayola vividness, this was the most desolate landscape in the universe. She was on her own here, small and weak in a harsh and unforgiving world. Burton was dead. There was nobody else on all of Io. Nobody to rely on but herself. Nobody to blame if she fucked up. Out of nowhere, she was filled with an elation as cold and bleak as the distant mountains. It was shameful how happy she felt.

After a minute, she said, “Know any songs?”


Oh the bear went over the mountain. The bear went over the mountain. The bear went over the mountain. To see what he could see.

“Wake. Up. Wake. Up.”

To see what he could—

“Wake. Up. Wake. Up. Wake.”

“Hah? What?”

“Crystal sulfur is orthorhombic.”

She was in a field of sulfur flowers. They stretched as far as the eye could see, crystalline formations the size of her hand. Like the poppies of Flanders field. Or the ones in The Wizard of Oz. Behind her was a trail of broken flowers, some crushed by her feet or under the weight of the sledge, others simply exploded by exposure to her suit’s waste heat. It was far from being a straight path. She had been walking on autopilot, and stumbled and turned and wandered upon striking the crystals.

Martha remembered how excited she and Burton had been when they first saw the fields of crystals. They had piled out of the moon rover with laughter and bounding leaps, and Burton had seized her by the waist and waltzed her around in a dance of jubilation. This was the big one, they’d thought, their chance at the history books. And even when they’d radioed Hols back in the orbiter and were somewhat condescendingly informed that there was no chance of this being a new life-form, but only sulfide formations such as could be found in any mineralogy text . . . even that had not killed their joy. It was still their first big discovery. They’d looked forward to many more.

Now, though, all she could think of was the fact that such crystal fields occurred in regions associated with sulfur geysers, lateral plumes, and volcanic hot spots.

Something funny was happening to the far edge of the field, though. She cranked up her helmet to extreme magnification and watched as the trail slowly erased itself. New flowers were rising up in place of those she had smashed, small but perfect and whole. And growing. She could not imagine by what process this could be happening. Electrodeposition? Molecular sulfur being drawn up from the soil in some kind of pseudocapillary action? Were the flowers somehow plucking sulfur ions from Io’s almost nonexistent atmosphere?

Yesterday, the questions would have excited her. Now, her capacity for wonder was nonexistent. Moreover, her instruments were back in the moon rover. Save for the suit’s limited electronics, she had nothing to take measurements with. She had only herself, the sledge, the spare airpacks, and the corpse.

“Damn, damn, damn,” she muttered. On the one hand, this was a dangerous place to stay in. On the other, she’d been awake almost twenty hours now and she was dead on her feet. Exhausted. So very, very tired.

“O sleep! It is a gentle thing. Beloved from pole to pole. Coleridge.”

Which, God knows, was tempting. But the numbers were clear: no sleep. With several deft chin-taps, Martha overrode her suit’s safeties and accessed its medical kit. At her command, it sent a hit of methamphetamine rushing down the drug/vitamin catheter.

There was a sudden explosion of clarity in her skull and her heart began pounding like a motherfucker. Yeah. That did it. She was full of energy now. Deep breath. Long stride. Let’s go.

No rest for the wicked. She had things to do. She left the flowers rapidly behind. Good-bye, Oz.


Fade out. Fade in. Hours had glided by. She was walking through a shadowy sculpture garden. Volcanic pillars (these were their second great discovery; they had no exact parallel on Earth) were scattered across the pyroclastic plain like so many isolated Lipschitz statues. They were all rounded and heaped, very much in the style of rapidly cooled magma. Martha remembered that Burton was dead, and cried quietly to herself for a few minutes.

Weeping, she passed through the eerie stone forms. The speed made them shift and move in her vision. As if they were dancing. They looked like women to her, tragic figures out of The Bacchae or, no, wait, The Trojan Women was the play she was thinking of. Desolate. Filled with anguish. Lonely as Lot’s wife.

There was a light scattering of sulfur dioxide snow on the ground here. It sublimed at the touch of her boots, turning to white mist and scattering wildly, the steam disappearing with each stride and then being renewed with the next footfall. Which only made the experience all that much creepier.

Click.

“Io has a metallic core predominantly of iron and iron sulfide, overlain by a mantle of partially molten rock and crust.”

“Are you still here?”

“Am trying. To communicate.”

“Shut up.”

She topped the ridge. The plains ahead were smooth and undulating. They reminded her of the Moon, in the transitional region between Mare Serenitatis and the foothills of the Caucasus Mountains, where she had undergone her surface training. Only without the impact craters. No impact craters on Io. Least cratered solid body in the solar system. All that volcanic activity deposited a new surface one meter thick every millennium or so. The whole damned moon was being constantly repaved.

Her mind was rambling. She checked her gauges, and muttered, “Let’s get this show on the road.”

There was no reply.

Dawn would come—when? Let’s work this out. Io’s “year,” the time it took to revolve about Jupiter, was roughly forty-two hours fifteen minutes. She’d been walking seven hours. During which Io would’ve moved roughly sixty degrees through its orbit. So it would be dawn soon. That would make Daedalus’s plume less obvious, but with her helmet graphics that wouldn’t be a worry. Martha swiveled her neck, making sure that Daedalus and Jupiter were where they ought to be, and kept on walking.


Trudge, trudge, trudge. Try not to throw the map up on the visor every five minutes. Hold off as long as you can, just one more hour, okay, that’s good, and another two miles. Not too shabby.

The sun was getting high. It would be noon in another hour and a half. Which meant—well, it really didn’t mean much of anything.

Rock up ahead. Probably a silicate. It was a solitary six meters high brought here by who knew what forces and waiting who knew how many thousands of years just for her to come along and need a place to rest. She found a flat spot where she could lean against it, and, breathing heavily, sat down to rest. And think. And check the airpack. Four hours until she had to change it again. Bringing her down to two airpacks. She had slightly under twenty-four hours now. Thirty-five miles to go. That was less than two miles an hour. A snap. Might run a little tight on oxygen there toward the end, though. She’d have to take care she didn’t fall asleep.

Oh, how her body ached.

It ached almost as much as it had in the ’48 Olympics, when she’d taken the bronze in the women’s marathon. Or that time in the internationals in Kenya when she’d come up from behind to tie for second. Story of her life. Always in third place, fighting for second. Always flight crew and sometimes, maybe, landing crew, but never the commander. Never class president. Never king of the hill. Just once—once!—she wanted to be Neil Armstrong.

Click.

“The marble index of a mind forever. Voyaging through strange seas of thought, alone. Wordsworth.”

“What?”

“Jupiter’s magnetosphere is the largest thing in the solar system. If the human eye could see it, it would appear two and a half times wider in the sky than the sun does.”

“I knew that,” she said, irrationally annoyed.

“Quotation is. Easy. Speech is. Not.”

“Don’t speak, then.”

“Trying. To communicate!”

She shrugged. “So go ahead—communicate.”

Silence. Then, “What does. This. Sound like?”

“What does what sound like?”

“Io is a sulfur-rich, iron-cored moon in a circular orbit around Jupiter. What does this. Sound like? Tidal forces from Jupiter and Ganymede pull and squeeze Io sufficiently to melt Tartarus, its sub-surface sulfur ocean. Tartarus vents its excess energy with sulfur and sulfur dioxide volcanoes. What does. This sound like? Io’s metallic core generates a magnetic field that punches a hole in Jupiter’s magnetosphere, and also creates a high-energy ion flux tube connecting its own poles with the north and south poles of Jupiter. What. Does this sound like? Io sweeps up and absorbs all the electrons in the million-volt range. Its volcanoes pump out sulfur dioxide; its magnetic field breaks down a percentage of that into sulfur and oxygen ions; and these ions are pumped into the hole punched in the magnetosphere, creating a rotating field commonly called the Io torus. What does this sound like? Torus. Flux tube. Magnetosphere. Volcanoes. Sulfur ions. Molten ocean. Tidal heating. Circular orbit. What does this sound like?”

Against her will, Martha had found herself first listening, then intrigued, and finally involved. It was like a riddle or a word-puzzle. There was a right answer to the question. Burton or Hols would have gotten it immediately. Martha had to think it through.

There was the faint hum of the radio’s carrier beam. A patient, waiting noise.

At last, she cautiously said, “It sounds like a machine.”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Machine. Yes. Am machine. Am machine. Am machine. Yes. Yes. Machine. Yes.”

“Wait. You’re saying that Io is a machine? That you’re a machine? That you’re Io?”

“Sulfur is triboelectric. Sledge picks up charges. Burton’s brain is intact. Language is data. Radio is medium. Am machine.”

“I don’t believe you.”


Trudge, drag, trudge, drag. The world doesn’t stop for strangeness. Just because she’d gone loopy enough to think that Io was alive and a machine and talking to her, didn’t mean that Martha could stop walking. She had promises to keep, and miles to go before she slept. And speaking of sleep, it was time for another fast refresher—just a quarter-hit—of speed.

Wow. Let’s go!

As she walked, she continued to carry on a dialogue with her hallucination or delusion or whatever it was. It was too boring otherwise.

Boring, and a tiny bit terrifying.

So she asked, “If you’re a machine, then what is your function? Why were you made?”

“To know you. To love you. And to serve you.”

Martha blinked. Then, remembering Burton’s long reminiscences on her Catholic girlhood, she laughed. That was a paraphrase of the answer to the first question in the old Baltimore Catechism: Why did God make man? “If I keep on listening to you, I’m going to come down with delusions of grandeur.”

“You are. Creator. Of machine.”

“Not me.”

She walked on without saying anything for a time. Then, because the silence was beginning to get to her again, “When was it I supposedly created you?”

“So many a million of ages have gone. To the making of man. Alfred, Lord Tennyson.”

“That wasn’t me, then. I’m only twenty-seven. You’re obviously thinking of somebody else.”

“It was. Mobile. Intelligent. Organic. Life. You are. Mobile. Intelligent. Organic. Life.”

Something moved in the distance. Martha looked up, astounded. A horse. Pallid and ghostly white, it galloped soundlessly across the plains, tail and mane flying.

She squeezed her eyes tight and shook her head. When she opened her eyes again, the horse was gone. A hallucination. Like the voice of Burton/Io. She’d been thinking of ordering up another refresher of the meth, but now it seemed best to put it off as long as possible.

This was sad, though. Inflating Burton’s memories until they were as large as Io.

Freud would have a few things to say about that. He’d say she was magnifying her friend to a godlike status in order to justify the fact that she’d never been able to compete one-on-one with Burton and win. He’d say she couldn’t deal with the fact that some people were simply better at things than she was.

Trudge, drag, trudge, drag.

So, okay, yes, she had an ego problem. She was an overambitious, self-centered b*tch. So what? It had gotten her this far, where a more reasonable attitude would have left her back in the slums of greater Levittown. Making do with an eight-by-ten room with bathroom rights and a job as a dental assistant. Kelp and talapia every night, and rabbit on Sunday. The hell with that. She was alive and Burton wasn’t—by any rational standard that made her the winner.

“Are you. Listening?”

“Not really, no.”

She topped yet another rise. And stopped dead. Down below was a dark expanse of molten sulfur. It stretched, wide and black, across the streaked orange plains. A lake. Her helmet readouts ran a thermal topography from the negative 230°F at her feet to 65°F at the edge of the lava flow. Nice and balmy. The molten sulfur itself, of course, existed at higher ambient temperatures.

It lay dead in her way.


They’d named it Lake Styx.

Martha spent half an hour muttering over her topo maps, trying to figure out how she’d gone so far astray. Not that it wasn’t obvious. All that stumbling around. Little errors that she’d made, adding up. A tendency to favor one leg over the other. It had been an iffy thing from the beginning, trying to navigate by dead reckoning.

Finally, though, it was obvious. Here she was. On the shores of Lake Styx. Not all that far off course after all. Three miles, maybe, tops.

Despair filled her.

They’d named the lake during their first loop through the Galilean system, what the engineers had called the “mapping run.” It was one of the largest features they’d seen that wasn’t already on the maps from satellite probes or Earth-based reconnaissance. Hols had thought it might be a new phenomenon—a lake that had achieved its current size within the past ten years or so. Burton had thought it would be fun to check it out. And Martha hadn’t cared, so long as she wasn’t left behind. So they’d added the lake to their itinerary. She had been so transparently eager to be in on the first landing, so afraid that she’d be left behind, that when she suggested they match fingers, odd man out, for who stayed, both Burton and Hols had laughed. “I’ll play mother,” Hols had said magnanimously, “for the first landing. Burton for Ganymede and then you for Europa. Fair enough?” And ruffled her hair.

She’d been so relieved, and so grateful, and so humiliated too. It was ironic. Now it looked like Hols—who would never have gotten so far off course as to go down the wrong side of the Styx—wasn’t going to get to touch rock at all. Not this expedition.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Martha muttered, though she didn’t know if she were condemning Hols or Burton or herself. Lake Styx was horseshoe-shaped and twelve miles long. And she was standing right at the inner toe of the horseshoe.

There was no way she could retrace her steps back around the lake and still get to the lander before her air ran out. The lake was dense enough that she could almost swim across it, if it weren’t for the viscosity of the sulfur, which would coat her heat radiators and burn out her suit in no time flat. And the heat of the liquid. And whatever internal flows and undertows it might have. As it was, the experience would be like drowning in molasses. Slow and sticky.

She sat down and began to cry.

After a time she began to build up her nerve to grope for the snap-coupling to her airpack. There was a safety for it, but among those familiar with the rig it was an open secret that if you held the safety down with your thumb and yanked suddenly on the coupling, the whole thing would come undone, emptying the suit in less than a second. The gesture was so distinctive that hot young astronauts-in-training would mime it when one of their number said something particularly stupid. It was called the suicide flick.

There were worse ways of dying.

“Will build. Bridge. Have enough. Fine control of. Physical processes. To build. Bridge.”

“Yeah, right, very nice, you do that,” Martha said absently. If you can’t be polite to your own hallucinations . . . She didn’t bother finishing the thought. Little crawly things were creeping about on the surface of her skin. Best to ignore them.

“Wait. Here. Rest. Now.”

She said nothing but only sat, not resting. Building up her courage. Thinking about everything and nothing. Clutching her knees and rocking back and forth.

Eventually, without meaning to, she fell asleep.


“Wake. Up. Wake. Up. Wake. Up.”

“Uhh?”

Martha struggled up into awareness. Something was happening before her, out on the lake. Physical processes were at work. Things were moving.

As she watched, the white crust at the edge of the dark lake bulged outward, shooting out crystals, extending. Lacy as a snowflake. Pale as frost. Reaching across the molten blackness. Until there was a narrow white bridge stretching all the way to the far shore.

“You must. Wait,” Io said. “Ten minutes and. You can. Walk across. It. With ease.”

“Son of a b*tch!” Martha murmured. “I’m sane.”


In wondering silence, she crossed the bridge that Io had enchanted across the dark lake. Once or twice the surface felt a little mushy underfoot, but it always held.

It was an exalting experience. Like passing over from Death into Life.

At the far side of the Styx, the pyroclastic plains rose gently toward a distant horizon. She stared up yet another long, crystal-flower-covered slope. Two in one day. What were the odds against that?

She struggled upward, flowers exploding as they were touched by her boots. At the top of the rise, the flowers gave way to sulfur hardpan again. Looking back, she could see the path she had crunched through the flowers begin to erase itself. For a long moment she stood still, venting heat. Crystals shattered soundlessly about her in a slowly expanding circle.

She was itching something awful now. Time to freshen up. Six quick taps brought up a message on her visor:

Warning: Continued use of this drug at current levels can result in paranoia, psychosis, hallucinations, misperceptions, and hypomania, as well as impaired judgment.

Fuck that noise. Martha dealt herself another hit.

It took a few seconds. Then—whoops. She was feeling light and full of energy again. Best check the airpack reading. Man, that didn’t look good. She had to giggle.

Which was downright scary.

Nothing could have sobered her up faster than that high little druggie laugh. It terrified her. Her life depended on her ability to maintain. She had to keep taking meth to keep going, but she also had to keep going under the drug. She couldn’t let it start calling the shots. Focus. Time to switch over to the last airpack. Burton’s airpack. “I’ve got eight hours of oxygen left. I’ve got twelve miles yet to go. It can be done,” she said grimly. “I’m going to do it now.”

If only her skin weren’t itching. If only her head weren’t crawling. If only her brain weren’t busily expanding in all directions.


Trudge, drag, trudge, drag. All through the night. The trouble with repetitive labor was that it gave you time to think. Time to think when you were speeding also meant time to think about the quality of your own thought.

You didn’t dream in real-time, she’d been told. You get it all in one flash, just as you’re about to wake up, and in that instant extrapolate a complex dream all in one whole. It feels as if you’ve been dreaming for hours. But you’ve only had one split second of intense nonreality.

Maybe that’s what’s happening here.

She had a job to do. She had to keep a clear head. It was important that she get back to the lander. People had to know. They weren’t alone anymore. Damnit, she’d just made the biggest discovery since fire!

Either that, or she was so crazy she was hallucinating that Io was a gigantic alien machine. So crazy she’d lost herself within the convolutions of her own brain.

Which was another terrifying thing she wished she hadn’t thought of. She’d been a loner as a child. Never made friends easily. Never had or been a best friend to anybody. Had spent half her girlhood buried in books. Solipsism terrified her—she’d lived right on the edge of it for too long. So it was vitally important that she determine whether the voice of Io had an objective, external reality. Or not.

Well, how could she test it?

Sulfur was triboelectric, Io had said. Implying that it was in some way an electrical phenomenon. If so, then it ought to be physically demonstrable.

Martha directed her helmet to show her the electrical charges within the sulfur plains. Crank it up to the max.

The land before her flickered once, then lit up in fairyland colors. Light! Pale oceans of light overlaying light, shifting between pastels, from faded rose to boreal blue, multilayered, labyrinthine, and all pulsing gently within the heart of the sulfur rock. It looked like thought made visual. It looked like something straight out of DisneyVirtual, and not one of the nature channels either—definitely DV-3.

“Damn,” she muttered. Right under her nose. She’d had no idea.

Glowing lines veined the warping wings of subterranean electromagnetic forces. Almost like circuit wires. They crisscrossed the plains in all directions, combining and then converging—not upon her, but in a nexus at the sled. Burton’s corpse was lit up like neon. Her head, packed in sulfur dioxide snow, strobed and stuttered with light so rapidly that it shone like the sun.

Sulfur was triboelectric. Which meant that it built up a charge when rubbed.

She’d been dragging Burton’s sledge over the sulfur surface of Io for how many hours? You could build up a hell of a charge that way.

So, okay. There was a physical mechanism for what she was seeing. Assuming that Io really was a machine, a triboelectric alien device the size of Earth’s moon, built eons ago for who knows what purpose by who knows what godlike monstrosities, then, yes, it might be able to communicate with her. A lot could be done with electricity.

Lesser, smaller, and dimmer “circuitry” reached for Martha as well. She looked down at her feet. When she lifted one from the surface, the contact was broken, and the lines of force collapsed. Other lines were born when she put her foot down again. Whatever slight contact might be made was being constantly broken. Whereas Burton’s sledge was in constant contact with the sulfur surface of Io. That hole in Burton’s skull would be a highway straight into her brain. And she’d packed it in solid SO2 as well. Conductive and supercooled. She’d made things easy for Io.

She shifted back to augmented real-color. The DV-3 SFX faded away.

Accepting as a tentative hypothesis that the voice was a real rather than a psychological phenomenon. That Io was able to communicate with her. That it was a machine. That it had been built . . .

Who, then, had built it?

Click.

“Io? Are you listening?”

“Calm on the listening ear of night. Come Heaven’s melodious strains. Edmund Hamilton Sears.”

“Yeah, wonderful, great. Listen, there’s something I’d kinda like to know—who built you?”

“You. Did.”

Slyly, Martha said, “So I’m your creator, right?”

“Yes.”

“What do I look like when I’m at home?”

“Whatever. You wish. To.”

“Do I breathe oxygen? Methane? Do I have antennae? Tentacles? Wings? How many legs do I have? How many eyes? How many heads?”

“If. You wish. As many as. You wish.”

“How many of me are there?”

“One.” A pause. “Now.”

“I was here before, right? People like me. Mobile intelligent life forms. And I left. How long have I been gone?”

Silence. “How long—” she began again.

“Long time. Lonely. So very. Long time.”


Trudge, drag. Trudge, drag. Trudge, drag. How many centuries had she been walking? Felt like a lot. It was night again. Her arms felt like they were going to fall out of their sockets.

Really, she ought to leave Burton behind. She’d never said anything to make Martha think she cared one way or the other where her body wound up. Probably would’ve thought a burial on Io was pretty damn nifty. But Martha wasn’t doing this for her. She was doing it for herself. To prove that she wasn’t entirely selfish. That she did too have feelings for others. That she was motivated by more than just the desire for fame and glory.

Which, of course, was a sign of selfishness in itself. The desire to be known as selfless. It was hopeless. You could nail yourself to a fucking cross, and it would still be proof of your innate selfishness.

“You still there, Io?”

Click.

“Am. Listening.”

“Tell me about this fine control of yours. How much do you have? Can you bring me to the lander faster than I’m going now? Can you bring the lander to me? Can you return me to the orbiter? Can you provide me with more oxygen?”

“Dead egg, I lie. Whole. On a whole world I cannot touch. Plath.”

“You’re not much use, then, are you?”

There was no answer. Not that she had expected one. Or needed it, either. She checked the topos and found herself another eighth-mile closer to the lander. She could even see it now under her helmet photomultipliers, a dim glint upon the horizon. Wonderful things, photomultipliers. The sun here provided about as much light as a full moon did back on Earth. Jupiter by itself provided even less. Yet crank up the magnification, and she could see the airlock awaiting the grateful touch of her gloved hand.

Trudge, drag, trudge. Martha ran and reran and rereran the math in her head. She had only three miles to go, and enough oxygen for as many hours. The lander had its own air supply. She was going to make it.

Maybe she wasn’t the total loser she’d always thought she was. Maybe there was hope for her, after all.

Click.

“Brace. Yourself.”

“What for?”

The ground rose up beneath her and knocked her off her feet.


When the shaking stopped, Martha clambered unsteadily to her feet again. The land before her was all a jumble, as if a careless deity had lifted the entire plain up a foot and then dropped it. The silvery glint of the lander on the horizon was gone. When she pushed her helmet’s magnification to the max, she could see a metal leg rising crookedly from the rubbled ground.

Martha knew the shear strength of every bolt and failure point of every welding seam in the lander. She knew exactly how fragile it was. That was one device that was never going to fly again.

She stood motionless. Unblinking. Unseeing. Feeling nothing. Nothing at all.

Eventually she pulled herself together enough to think. Maybe it was time to admit it: She never had believed she was going to make it. Not really. Not Martha Kivelsen. All her life she’d been a loser. Sometimes—like when she qualified for the expedition—she lost at a higher level than usual. But she never got whatever it was she really wanted.

Why was that, she wondered? When had she ever desired anything bad? When you get right down to it, all she’d ever wanted was to kick God in the butt and get his attention. To be a big noise. To be the biggest fucking noise in the universe. Was that so unreasonable?

Now she was going to wind up as a footnote in the annals of humanity’s expansion into space. A sad little cautionary tale for mommy astronauts to tell their baby astronauts on cold winter nights. Maybe Burton could’ve gotten back to the lander. Or Hols. But not her. It just wasn’t in the cards.

Click.

“Io is the most volcanically active body in the solar system.”

“You fucking bastard! Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Did. Not. Know.”

Now her emotions returned to her in full force. She wanted to run and scream and break things. Only there wasn’t anything in sight that hadn’t already been broken. “You sh**head!” she cried. “You idiot machine! What use are you? What g*ddamn use at all?”

“Can give you. Eternal life. Communion of the soul. Unlimited processing power. Can give Burton. Same.”

“Hah?”

“After the first death. There is no other. Dylan Thomas.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Silence.

“Damn you, you fucking machine! What are you trying to say?”


Then the devil took Jesus up into the holy city and set him on the highest point of the temple, and said to him, “If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written he shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up.”

Burton wasn’t the only one who could quote scripture. You didn’t have to be Catholic, like her. Presbyterians could do it too.

Martha wasn’t sure what you’d call this feature. A volcanic phenomenon of some sort. It wasn’t very big. Maybe twenty meters across, not much higher. Call it a crater, and let it be. She stood shivering at its lip. There was a black pool of molten sulfur at its bottom, just as she’d been told. Supposedly its roots reached all the way down to Tartarus.

Her head ached so badly.

Io claimed—had said—that if she threw herself in, it would be able to absorb her, duplicate her neural patterning, and so restore her to life. A transformed sort of life, but life nonetheless. “Throw Burton in,” it had said. “Throw yourself in. Physical configuration will be. Destroyed. Neural configuration will be. Preserved. Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Burton had limited. Biological training. Understanding of neural functions may be. Imperfect.”

“Wonderful.”

“Or. Maybe not.”

“Gotcha.”

Heat radiated up from the bottom of the crater. Even protected and shielded as she was by her suit’s HVAC systems, she felt the difference between front and back. It was like standing in front of a fire on a very cold night.

They had talked, or maybe negotiated was a better word for it, for a long time. Finally Martha had said, “You savvy Morse code? You savvy orthodox spelling?”

“Whatever Burton. Understood. Is. Understood.”

“Yes or no, damnit!”

“Savvy.”

“Good. Then maybe we can make a deal.”


She stared up into the night. The orbiter was out there somewhere, and she was sorry she couldn’t talk directly to Hols, say good-bye and thanks for everything. But Io had said no. What she planned would raise volcanoes and level mountains. The devastation would dwarf that of the earthquake caused by the bridge across Lake Styx.

It couldn’t guarantee two separate communications.

The ion flux tube arched from somewhere over the horizon in a great looping jump to the north pole of Jupiter. Augmented by her visor, it was as bright as the sword of God.

As she watched, it began to sputter and jump, millions of watts of power dancing staccato in a message they’d be picking up on the surface of Earth. It would swamp every radio and drown out every broadcast in the Solar System.

THIS IS MARTHA KIVELSEN, SPEAKING FROM THE SURFACE OF IO ON BEHALF OF MYSELF, JULIET BURTON, DECEASED, AND JACOB HOLS, OF THE FIRST GALILEAN SATELLITES EXPLORATORY MISSION. WE HAVE MADE AN IMPORTANT DISCOVERY . . .

Every electrical device in the System would dance to its song.


Burton went first. Martha gave the sledge a shove, and out it flew, into empty space. It dwindled, hit, kicked up a bit of a splash. Then, with a disappointing lack of pyrotechnics, the corpse slowly sank into the black glop.

It didn’t look very encouraging at all.

Still . . .

“Okay,” she said. “A deal’s a deal.” She dug in her toes and spread her arms. Took a deep breath. Maybe I am going to survive after all, she thought. It could be Burton was already halfway-merged into the oceanic mind of Io, and awaiting her to join in an alchemical marriage of personalities. Maybe I’m going to live forever. Who knows? Anything is possible.

Maybe.

There was a second and more likely possibility. All this could well be nothing more than a hallucination. Nothing but the sound of her brain short-circuiting and squirting bad chemicals in all directions. Madness. One last grandiose dream before dying. Martha had no way of judging.

Whatever the truth might be, though, there were no alternatives, and only one way to find out.

She jumped.

Briefly, she flew.


clarkesworldmagazine.com/swanwick_10_16_reprint

机器的脉搏

迈克尔·斯万维克 Michael Swanwick 著(华龙 译)

嘀嘀。

无线电响了。

“见鬼。”

玛莎双眼死死盯着前方,用尽全力往前迈着步子。她一侧的肩膀上是木星,而另一侧的肩头是代达罗斯火山[作者自拟的木卫一上的一座火山名,并非月球上的“代达罗斯环形山”。]的喷发物。这有什么呀。不就是迈步,往前拖;再迈步,再往前拽。小菜一碟。

“噢。”

她下巴一顶,关掉了无线电。

嘀嘀。

“天呐。噢。吉威。尔。森。”

“闭嘴,闭嘴,闭嘴!”玛莎狠狠一拉绳子,驮着波顿尸体的滑橇被她拽得一跳,在硫黃地表上弹了起来。“你死了,波顿,我亲自检查过的,你脸上那个大洞都能塞进去个拳头,我真不想撞车的。我在这儿陷入困境了,我都要撑不住了,好吗?所以乖一点儿,闭上该死的嘴。”

“不是。波。顿。”

“随你的便。”

她又用下巴关掉了无线电。

木星低悬在西方的地平线上,巨大而明亮,还很美丽,而且,在木卫一“艾奥”上待了两星期之后,也早习以为常了。在她左边,代达罗斯火山正在喷发硫黃和二氧化硫,形成了一个两百公里高的扇形。视线之外的太阳在喷射流上映出凄冷的光芒,她的护目镜将那光芒减弱成了一片稀薄而可爱的蓝色。宇宙中最壮美的景色,而她无心欣赏。

嘀嘀。

不等那声音再次开口,玛莎就说:“我可不会发疯,你只不过是我潜意识里的声音,我没闲工夫去研究到底是什么莫名其妙的心理问题引发了这一切,我也不打算听任何你要说的话。”

一片寂静。


卫星登陆车至少翻了五个跟头才歪歪斜斜冲出去撞上那块悉尼歌剧院大小的砾石。玛莎·吉威尔森,生性谨小慎微,此时深陷在座椅里被安全带牢牢缚着,一直到整个宇宙都不再颤抖了,她才攒足力气解开了带子。朱丽叶·波顿,身材修长,身手矫健,对自己的幸运和敏捷都信心十足,她对系不系安全带满不在乎,此时早被甩到了一根支撑柱上。

火山口带来的二氧化硫雪暴让人视线大受影响。玛莎拼尽全力才从那团肆虐的白色风暴下面爬了出来,之后,她才终于看清楚自己从事故残骸中拖出来的那具穿着防护服的尸体。

她立刻将脸转向一旁。

不知是什么把手或是什么东西的凸缘狠狠地在波顿的头盔上砸了一个洞,她的脑袋也难以幸免。

剧烈喷发的火山口碎屑——“侧向喷发物”,行星地质学家是这么称呼这些东西的——被那块巨大的砾石反弹出来,堆积成了一道由二氧化硫筑起的雪坝。玛莎想都没想,不由自主地用双手捧起一大把塞进了那个头盔里。说实在的,这么做毫无意义:在真空里,尸体不会腐烂。可另一方面呢,这么做能让那张脸藏起来。

然后玛莎严肃地想了想眼前的形势。

虽然雪暴肆虐,却没有一丝一毫的湍流。因为没有大气,也就谈不上什么湍流了。岩石上突然被撞开的那个裂口笔直地喷射出二氧化硫,然后严格遵循着弹道学定律落在了几英里外的地面上。他们从那块砾石上撞下来的大部分碎屑就直接附着在砾石上面,其余的碎块被震落在了砾石脚下的地面上。于是——她一开始就是这么钻出来的——这让她能够在近乎水平的喷射物下面爬过,返回卫星登陆车的残骸。如果她慢慢过去,头盔上的灯光和她的触觉感知应该足以让她谨慎小心地进行一下物资抢救。

玛莎伏下身子手膝着地。就在她行动起来的时候,就跟爆发的时候一样突然——那肆虐的雪暴突然又停了。

她站起身来,莫名觉得自己傻乎乎的。

雪暴喷发停止的时候,她可不能耽搁。最好抓紧,她告诫自己。那可能是间歇性的。

在一塌糊涂的残骸里拾拾捡捡,玛莎很快就发现了个大麻烦,几乎让她吓丢了魂,她发现她们用来补充气瓶的主箱体裂了个大口子。这太可怕了。只剩下她自己的气瓶了,已经用了三分之一,另有两个备用气瓶,再加上波顿的,可那个也消耗了三分之一了。想到要把波顿的防护服扒下来就让人毛骨悚然,但不得不如此。抱歉,朱丽叶。咱们看看,这样就能给她争取到差不多四十个小时的氧气。

然后,她从卫星登陆车的外壳上取下一块弧形的材料,又拿了一卷尼龙绳,还有两个碎块,可以当作榔头和冲子,然后用这些东西给波顿的尸体打造了一架滑橇。

要是把尸体丢下那才真该死呢。


嘀嘀。

“这样。更好了。”

“随你扯吧。”

在她面前是坚硬、冰冷的硫黃平原。光滑如镜。像冻住的太妃糖一样脆。冷如地狱。她调出一张地图投影在头盔上,察看了一下自己的路线:只有区区四十五英里[1英里约合1.6093千米。]复杂多变的地形而已,然后她就能抵达着陆器了,然后她就能轻松到家了。她想,不费吹灰之力。艾奥星深受木星潮汐力影响,自转与公转同步,所以众星之父始终都在天空中一个固定的位置。这就是绝好的导航灯塔。只要让木星始终保持在你右肩上,代达罗斯火山始终在左边就行了。你将会安然无恙脱身。

“硫黃有。静电。”

“别绷着了。你费了半天劲儿到底要说什么?”

“而我现在。以沉静的目光。看到那。脉搏。机器的。”稍一停顿。“华兹华斯。”[这里是断断续续念诵了英国诗人华兹华斯《完美的女人》中的一句诗,诗句原文直译就是:现在我沉静的目光看到的,正是那机器的脉搏。]

除了讲起话磕磕巴巴的,这跟波顿太像了,她受过古典艺术教育,喜欢古典的诗人,比如斯宾塞[埃德蒙·斯宾塞(1552—1599),英国文艺复兴时期的伟大诗人,长篇史诗《仙占》是其代表作。]、金斯伯格[艾伦·金斯伯格(1926—1997),美国诗人,被奉为“垮掉的一代”之父,其代表作有《嚎叫及其它诗》。]和普拉斯[西尔维娅·普拉斯(1932—1963),美国女诗人,自白派诗人代表。],玛莎一时间有些吃惊。波顿爱诗都爱得让人烦了,但她的热情无比真挚,此时此刻玛莎不由得心怀歉疚,以前每一次看到那双灵动的大眼睛转来转去转出一段诗文或是脱口而出一段评论的时候,她都挺不耐烦的。但以后有的是时间去伤心。现在嘛,她必须集中精神完成手头的任务。

平原的色彩是朦胧的褐色。她用下巴迅速点了几下,增强了色彩的强度。她的视野里充满了各种黄色、橙色、红色……明艳的蜡笔色彩。玛莎觉得自己最喜欢这种样子。

尽管这是儿童彩色画笔式的鲜艳,可这也是宇宙中最寂寥的景色。她在此孤身一人,在这个残酷而无情的世界上渺小而脆弱。波顿死了。整个艾奥星上再无他人。除了自己,别无依靠。如果她搞砸了,只能自认倒霉。身处绝境,她胸中生出一股豪情,犹如远山般冷酷、苍凉。她居然感觉这么开心,真是耻辱。

过了一会儿,她说:“能来首什么歌吗?”


噢,小熊越过了山峰。小熊越过了山峰。小熊越过了山峰。去看他能看到的一切。[出自英文儿歌《小熊翻过山》。]

“醒。过来。醒。过来。”

去看他能……

“醒。过来。醒。过来。醒。”

“哈?什么?”

“硫黃晶体是斜方晶体。”

她走在一片盛开着硫黃鲜花的原野里。视线所及之处遍野都是,结晶体足有她的手掌大小,犹如佛兰德地区的罂粟田野,或是奥兹国魔法师的原野。在她身后是一条由破碎的鲜花铺成的小路,有些是被她的双脚或是滑橇的重量压碎的,还有些纯粹就是由于她的宇航服散发出的热量爆开了。这条路一点都不笔直。她靠着身体的自动导航一路行走,被这些晶体磕磕绊绊,难免转来绕去的。

玛莎记得当她和波顿第一次看到这片结晶的原野时有多么兴奋。她们在卫星登陆车里又蹦又跳,欢声笑语不绝于耳,波顿搂着她的腰一圈又一圈转起了欢快的华尔兹。她们觉得,这可是能让她们名垂史册的重大时刻。甚至当她们用无线电通报给轨道上的霍斯时,都带着飘飘然的优越感,这里并没有发现新生命形式的可能,只不过有一些硫化物的生成物,在矿物学资料里差不多都能找到……即便如此,也丝毫没有减损她们的欢悦之情。这终归是她们的第一个重大发现。她们对于未来畅想了许多许多。

现在嘛,她所能想到的就是那样的结晶体原野中随处都可能有硫黃间歇泉、侧向喷发物、火山热力点。

有件有意思的事情正在进行着,一直延伸到这片原野的尽头。她把头盔的放大倍数调到了头,观察着那条小路正自行缓缓消失。就在她踩踏过的地方,新的花朵正在绽放,缓慢却完美无缺,不断繁茂起来。她无法想象这样的过程是如何进行的。电解沉积?硫分子从土壤中以某种拟毛细现象的方式被抽取出来?是不是这些鲜花以某种方式从艾奥星那极为稀薄的大气层中吸收了硫离子?

昨天,这些问题还会让她激动不已。现在,她没有半点心思去思考这些东西。不止于此,她的装备都丢在了卫星登陆车上。除了宇航服上有限的电子设备,她根本就没有仪器能够做检测。她所有的只有自己、滑橇、备用的气瓶,还有那具尸体。

“该死,该死,该死。”她低声咕哝着。一方面,这地方危机四伏;另一方面,她到现在已经差不多二十个小时没合眼了,而且这一路跋涉几乎要了她的命。她筋疲力尽,非常非常疲劳。

“噢,睡眠!它是多么安然。世间无人不爱。柯勒律治[塞缪尔·泰勒·柯勒律治(1772—1834),英国诗人。]。”

上帝作证,这确实充满诱惑。但那些数字说得很清楚:不能睡。玛莎熟练地用下巴点了几下,超驰了宇航服的安全系统,进入了医疗组件。在她的指令下,顺着宇航服的药物-维生素导管给她来了一剂脱氧麻黄碱[脱氧麻黄碱,即冰毒的主要成分。由于可消除疲劳,使人精力旺盛,曾在二战中的日本被广泛用于疲惫的士兵提神。大量服用会产生幻觉。]

她的脑壳里顿时爆发出一团清明,心脏猛地开始强有力地搏动起来。帅呆了!起作用了。她现在精力充沛,深呼吸,迈大步,咱们走吧。

恶人没资格歇着。她还有事情要做。她当即将那些鲜花抛在了脑后。再见,奥兹王国[《绿野仙踪》中的神奇国度。]


眼前的景色来了又去了,时间一小时一小时滑过。她正穿行在一片黯影朦胧的雕塑般的花园里。火山柱(这是她们的第二大发现,这些东西在地球上没有对应的类似物)散布在遍布火山碎屑的平原上,就像是许多孤立的利普希茨[利普希茨(1832—1903),德国数学家,以他的名字命名了函数的某种连续、光滑条件。]连续体雕塑。它们全都圆滚滚的,堆状,很像迅速冷却的岩浆。玛莎想起来波顿已经死了,静静地哭了一会儿。

她抽泣着,穿过神秘而怪异的石堆群。麻黄碱让那些石头在她的视线里扭来动去,就好像它们都在跳舞。它们在她眼里就像一群女人,那悲惨的样貌就像是从《酒神的伴侣》,不,等等,是从《特洛伊的女人》[《酒神的伴侣》《特洛伊的女人》都是古希腊戏剧。]里钻出来的形象:凄凉,饱含愤怒,跟罗得的妻子[罗得是《圣经》里的人物,逃离灾难的时候,他妻子回头望去,变成了盐柱。]一样孤独。

这里的地面上薄薄地撒着一层二氧化硫的雪花。她的靴子一踩在上面雪花就升华了,化作缕缕白雾四散飘飞,随着每一步抬起,那雾气也消失不见,然后,又在下一步落下之后重新凝聚回去。这只会让眼前的一切愈加令人毛骨悚然。

嘀嘀。

“艾奥星拥有一颗主要由铁和硫化铁构成的金属核,然后被一层厚厚的不完全熔融的岩石和地壳覆盖着。”

“你还在呢?”

“我正在努力。进行沟通。”

“闭嘴。”

她攀上岩脊。前方的平原挺光滑,如波浪般起伏。这地貌让她想起了月球,就是在澄海和高加索山脚之间的中转站那里,她就是在那里进行了自己的登陆训练。只不过那里没有剧烈喷发的火山口而已。没有艾奥星上这样剧烈喷发的火山。太阳系中体型最小的火山活跃体。每千年左右,火山运动所形成的沉积物,便形成一层一米厚的全新的地表。整个见鬼的卫星持续不断地翻新装裱着它的表皮。

她的思绪漫无边际。她查了查各个仪表,咕哝着说:“咱们路上得加把劲儿了。”

没有回应。

黎明即将来临——几时?咱们得算算。艾奥星的“年”,也就是它围绕木星旋转的时间,正好是四十二小时十五分钟。她已经走了七个小时。在此期间艾奥星正好在轨道上转了六十度。所以很快就要到黎明了。这会让代达罗斯火山的喷发物不那么明显,不过通过她头盔的画面去看,这不成问题。玛莎扭过脖子,确认代达罗斯和木星都在它们应该在的地方,然后继续往前走。


深一脚,浅一脚,深一脚,浅一脚。每过五分钟,她都要努力克制住把地图甩到头盔面板上的冲动。尽自己所能克制住,最多再有一个小时嘛,好了,这很不错,又走了两英里。别太过分。

太阳在往高处爬。再过一个半小时就到正午了。这意味着——好吧,说实在的,这意味不了多少东西。

前方有岩石。肯定是硅酸盐。这是一块六米高的孤寂的石头,天晓得是被什么力量放到此处的,连天也不晓得的是它在这里等了几千年,就是为了等她孤身一人前来的时候给她备个休息的地方。她找了块平坦的地方能让自己倚着它气喘吁吁地坐下来歇着,让她能理一理思绪,让她能好好检查一下气瓶。还有四个小时她就得再次进行更换了。然后,她就只剩下两个气瓶了。现在她还有不到二十四小时。还有三十五英里的路要走。时速两英里上下。不在话下。尽管也许走到终点氧气有点紧张。她必须小心别让自己睡过去。

噢,她浑身酸痛。

身子疼得就好像那年的奥林匹克运动会上一样,当时她夺得了女子马拉松铜牌。或者就像那次在肯尼亚参加国际比赛,她从后面一路追赶第二名。她这辈子净是这样的故事。一直都是第三名,努力为成为第二名拼命。她一直都是飞行机组队员,有时候也许是登陆队员,不过从来没当过指令长。从没高攀过班长的位子。从未高高在上。就一次——就这么一次啊!——她想成为尼尔·阿姆斯特朗[人类登月第一人。]

嘀嘀。

“大理石化作一个灵魂永远。独自航行在陌生的思想之海。华兹华斯。”[这是华兹华斯写的牛顿赞美诗中的一句。]

“什么?”

“木星的磁层是太阳系中最为庞大的东西。如果人类的眼睛能看到它,它比太阳在天空中的轮廓还要大两倍半。”

“我知道。”她说着,感到一阵莫名的恼怒。

“引用很。简单。演说则。不然。”

“那就别说了。”

“在尽力。沟通!”

她耸耸肩,“那接着说呗……沟通。”

沉默。然后,“这个。听起来。像什么?”

“什么听起来像什么?”

“艾奥星是一颗富含硫元素、铁质核心的卫星,圆形的轨道环绕着木星。这个。听起来像什么?木星和木卫三伽尼墨得的潮汐力强烈地拉扯、挤压着艾奥星,让它成为熔融的冥府,地表下成为硫黃的海洋。冥府将那富余的能量泄放出去形成硫黃与二氧化硫的火山。这个。听起来像什么?艾奥星的金属核心生成了一个磁场,它在木星的磁层上撞开了一个洞,也产生了一个高能量的离子流通量管道,将它自己的两极与木星的南北两极连接了起来。这。听起来像什么?艾奥掀起了百万伏特的电场并将所有的电子吸收掉。它的火山迸发出二氧化硫;它的磁场将其中的一部分拆解成硫离子与氧离子;这些离子被泵入了磁层的空洞之中,形成一个环绕的区域,通常称其为木卫一环面。这听起来像什么?环面。通量管道。磁层。火山。硫离子。熔融的海洋。潮汐热。圆形轨道。这听起来像什么?”

玛莎违背了自己的意愿,头一次发现自己对听着的这些有了兴致,最后还沉浸其中。这就像是一个谜题或是一个字谜。那个问题得有一个正确的答案。波顿或是霍斯立刻就能解开,玛莎可得费点心思。

无线电的载波束发出微弱的富有耐心的、饱含等待的嗡嗡声。

最后,她认真地说:“听起来像是一台机器。”

“是的。是的。是的。机器。是的。是机器。是机器。是机器。是的。是的。机器。是的。”

“等等。你说艾奥星是一台机器?还是说你是一台机器?还是说你就是艾奥星?”

“硫黃摩擦起静电。滑橇起了作用。波顿的大脑未受损伤。语言就是数据。无线电就是媒介。我是机器。”

“我不相信你。”


深一脚浅一脚,用力拖;深一脚浅一脚,用力拽。这世界不会因为你对它陌生就停滞不动。就因为她傻乎乎地认为艾奥有生命了,变成了一台机器,还跟她聊天了,可这也不意味着玛莎会停下脚步。她下定决心要一直走,在她睡觉之前还有漫长的路要走。说到睡觉嘛,又到了该提提神的时间了,就用——就四分之一剂——麻黄碱。

喔。咱们走。

她前进的时候继续跟她的幻觉,或是错觉,或者不管那是什么玩意儿,继续进行着对话,否则就太无聊了。

无聊,外带一点点的恐惧。

于是她问道:“如果你是机器,那你的作用是什么?你为什么被制造出来?”

“为了认识你。为了爱上你。为了给你效力。”

玛莎眨眨眼睛。然后想起波顿少年时身为天主教徒的漫长的追忆,她笑了起来。在古老的《巴尔的摩问答手册》里,第一个问题的答案就是这么说的,那个问题是:上帝为什么创造人类?

“如果我继续听你说,那我就要出现壮观的错觉了。”

“你是。机器的。创造者。”

“不是我。”

她不声不响走了一段时间。然后,因为寂静又爬上了心头,她说道:“我大概是什么时间创造你的呢?”

“已经过去了百万世代。自人类创生之日。阿尔弗雷德·丁尼生勋爵[阿尔弗雷德·丁尼生(1809—1892),英国诗人。]。”

“那可不是我。我才二十七岁。显然你想的是别人。”

“就是。能活动的。智能。有机体。生命。你就是。能活动的。智能。有机体。生命。”

有什么东西在远处移动。玛莎抬头望去,大吃一惊。那是一匹马,通体苍白,犹如鬼魅,无声无息在平原上飞奔,鬃尾四散飘飞。

她挤了挤眼睛,晃了晃脑袋。等她再次睁开眼睛,那匹马不见了。一个幻觉,就像波顿或者艾奥的声音一样。她真想再来一剂提提神,但现在似乎最好尽可能推迟。

尽管这让人不痛快。不断填充着波顿的记忆,直到那些记忆犹如艾奥星一般巨大。弗洛伊德对此会有话说的。他会说,她是在把她的朋友不断放大,放大到神灵般的状态,以此来认定她在与波顿一对一竞争的时候从来都无法获胜。他会说有些人就是比她更优秀,而她对于这一事实无法接受。

迈步,用力拖;迈步,用力拽。

那么,好吧,没错,她有个挺伤自尊的问题。她是一个野心爆棚、以自我为中心的婊子。那又怎样?那让她到了这么个遥远的地方,稍稍有一点理性也会让她回到大莱维顿的贫民窟里待着。然后凑合着住在一个八米宽十米长的房间里,有卫生间,还有一份牙医助手的工作;每天晚上吃海带和罗非鱼,星期天吃兔肉。那才见鬼呢!现在她活着,而波顿死了——不管按照什么规矩来衡量,她都是获胜者。

“你在。听吗?”

“没听,没。”

她又爬上了一道隆起,停了下来,眼前的景象令她呆若木鸡。下面是一大片黑色的熔融的硫黃,它铺展开去,又宽又黑,横跨着布满条纹的橙色平原,这是一个硫黃湖。她用头盔面板读取着热量变化值,她脚下是负230℉,熔岩流的边缘地带是65℉[负230℉相当于零下145℃,65℉相当于18℃。]。太棒了,温度宜人。当然啦,熔融的硫黃本身在更高温度的周围环境之中尤为活跃。

她走进了死胡同。


他们早就将此处命名为冥湖。

玛莎冲着她的地形图嚷嚷了半个小时,试图找出她是怎么误入歧途的。这事儿再明显不过了,就是一路跌跌绊绊绕的呗,她的偏差一点一点积累起来,或者是一条腿比另一条腿走得更卖力一点,这都有可能。从一开始这事儿就不怎么靠谱,她居然想用航位推算来导航。

最后,所有的问题就都凑到一起了。她就到了这里,到了冥湖岸边。说到底,偏离得还不算太远。也许顶到头也就是三英里。

她心中充满了绝望。

在他们第一次通过“伽利略号”木星探测器对木卫一进行环绕的时候就为它命了名,工程师称那种环绕行动为“踩地图”。这可是他们见到过的最大的地形特征点之一,在卫星探测器或是地基勘测的地图上根本看不到。霍斯认为这是一个新出现的现象——在过去十年左右的时间里这个湖才扩张到了目前的规模。波顿认为对它查个究竟会很有意思的,而玛莎并不关心,只要她不被撇在后方就行。所以他们早就把这个湖加进了他们的航行日志中。 她曾经毫不掩饰地表露出要第一批登陆的渴望,十分害怕自己又被撇在后方,于是当她提议猜拳的时候说,出拳不一样的出局,也就是留守。波顿和霍斯一齐大笑起来。“我为这首次登陆行动操作母船,”霍斯宽宏大量地说道,“木卫三伽尼墨得就得是波顿了,然后木卫二欧罗巴就是你了。够公平吧?”然后顺手揉乱了她的头发。

她真是松了口气,心怀感激,也很羞愧。太讽刺了。现在看来,霍斯嘛,他绝不会偏离路线这么远走到冥湖来,更不会撞到岩石。是的,这次探险不会。

“蠢货,蠢货,蠢货。”玛莎不停地嚷,尽管她不知道自己到底是在谴责霍斯或者波顿,还是在骂自己。冥湖是马蹄形的,十二英里长。而她正站在马蹄形的里边。

要想走回头路绕过这个湖,再赶到着陆器,她的氧气绝对不够用。这个湖的密度相当大,如果硫黃不那么黏的话,她差不多能游过去,但这会裹住她的散热器,让她的宇航服当时就烧起来。还有液态硫黃的热量。还有里边的不管什么内部流体和下层逆流之类的东西。没错,就是那样,那样的话,她就会像是陷进缓慢而黏稠的蜜糖里。

她瘫坐在地哭了起来。

过了一会儿,她打起精神摸到了气瓶的快换接头上。那里有一个安全阀,对于熟悉这些装置的人来说,这当中有一个公开的秘密——如果你用拇指把安全阀扳下来,猛地把它拉下来砸到快换接头上,那整个零件都会报废,不到一秒钟就会放空宇航服里的空气。这个手势太特殊了,那些年轻的宇航员在新手训练的时候,要是其中一人说了什么特别蠢的话,大家总会模仿这个动作来取笑他。这被称为自杀之扭。

当然,还有更惨的死法。

“将建造。桥梁。有足够。好的控制。物理过程。来建造。桥梁。”

“是,没错,很棒,你来干吧。”玛莎心不在焉地说。如果你对自己的幻觉不能客客气气的……她没打算让这念头继续下去,却又开始觉得似乎有小小的东西在她的皮肤上爬来爬去了。最好别去管。

“等在。这里。休息。现在。”

她什么都没说,只是坐了下来,却没休息。她积攒起一些勇气。心里不知道想着些什么。她紧紧抓住膝盖,身子不住地前后晃动。

最终,毫无征兆的,她睡了过去。


“醒醒。醒醒。醒醒。”

“嗯?”

玛莎挣扎着醒了过来。她面前有事情正在发生,就在湖上。物理过程正在进行,有东西在动。

她放眼望去,黢黑的湖泊边缘有白色的覆盖物向外膨胀起来,喷射出无数晶体,不断生长。边缘的花纹令它犹如雪花,惨白如霜。渐渐地,白色物体伸展到了熔融的黑色区域。最后,一道窄窄的白色的桥伸展出去,直通对岸。

“你必须。等等。”艾奥说,“十分钟。你就能。走过。它。轻松。”

“狗娘养的。”玛莎低声道,“我真是疯了。”


玛莎被惊得哑口无言,她顺着这座艾奥的魔法变出的桥跨过了湖。有那么一两次,她感觉脚下的路面有点发软,但始终能撑住。

这真是能吹一辈子的经历。就像是从阴间跨入人间。

冥湖对岸,遍布火山碎屑的平原缓缓抬升,一直延伸到远方的地平线。她抬头望去,又是一片漫长的、开满了晶体鲜花的山坡。一天之内两次身临其境,这是什么样的幸运?

她努力挺直身子,花朵在她的靴子踩下去的时候爆开。过了坡顶,遍地鲜花又变成了硬邦邦的硫黃地面。回头望去,她看到自己在鲜花中间踩出的那条小径开始消失了。她在那里站了很久,排散着热量。她周围的结晶体无声地破碎着,形成了一个缓缓扩大的圆形区域。

她身上现在不知有什么东西痒得厉害。该提提神了。连续轻击六下之后,头盔面板上出现了一条信息:

警告:继续以目前的剂量使用这种药物,会导致偏执多疑、幻觉、感官丧失以及轻微狂躁症,同时还会降低判断力。

见他的鬼。玛莎给自己又打了一针。

过了几秒钟。然后——哇哦,她感觉轻飘飘的,浑身上下又充满了力量。最好查查气瓶读数。伙计,那看上去可不怎么妙。她只能傻笑。

她感觉魂不附体。

要不是用药嗨过头一直傻笑,恐怕她也不会这么快清醒过来。这让她心生恐惧。她这辈子都是凭着自己的本事过活。她是迫不得已才用脱氧麻黄碱来维持行动的,但她也不得不依靠着药物才能行动下去。她不能就此总想着注射。集中精神,是时候换上最后一个气瓶了——波顿的气瓶。“我还有八个小时的氧气。我还有十二英里的路要走。能行的。我现在就得行动起来。”她倔强地说着。

只要她的皮肤不痒。只要她的脑袋不晕。只要她的大脑不会天马行空地胡思乱想。


深一脚,用力拽;浅一脚,用力拖。整整一夜,没完没了的体力活儿带来的麻烦就是让你有充足的时间胡思乱想。在你不停地赶路的时候有充足的时间,也就意味着你有着充足的时间去评估自己的想法到底有没有价值。

有人跟她说过,你梦中的时间并非现实时间,而是在一念之间就全做完了,就在你要醒过来的时候,就在那一刹那,一个复杂而又完整的梦就那么做出来了。这感觉就像是你做了好几个小时的梦,但你那无比紧张而又漫长的非现实状态在现实中只不过一瞬而已。

或许就是这么一回事。[譯文缺失]

她有活儿要干,她必须保持一副清醒的头脑,返回着陆器这件事十分重要。必须让人类知道,他们在宇宙中不再孤独。真该死,她刚刚有了人类自从用火以来最伟大的发现。

要么就是她精神失常得太厉害,幻觉中艾奥变成了一个巨大的外星机器。这太疯狂了,她准是迷失在自己的脑回路里了。

还有另一件让她恐惧的事情,她希望自己根本就没想到过。她从小就不合群,一向都不善于交朋友,从来也不是什么人的密友。她在少年时代花了一半的时间埋在书堆里,“唯我论”让她心悸——她在这边缘停留了太久太久。于是,有件事就变得极为重要了,她必须做出决定:艾奥的声音是确实客观存在的、来自外部的真实存在,抑或是截然相反?

好吧,她怎么才能测试呢?

艾奥说过,硫黃有静电。也就是说它是某种电子现象,如果这样,那它应该是可以被物理检测的。

玛莎指示头盔为她显示出硫黃平原中的电荷效果。她把图像增强调到最大值。

她面前的大地闪动了一下,然后迸发出仙境般的色彩。一片光明!光明之上覆盖着淡淡的光明之海,犹如蜡笔画的色彩不断转换,从渐淡的玫瑰色到北方的蓝色,层次丰富,错综复杂,全都以硫黃岩石为中心轻柔地脉动着。看上去仿佛是思维化作了影像,就像是直接从迪士尼虚拟频道里端出来的,绝不是那些自然频道——绝对就是DV-3频道。

“见鬼。”她咕哝着。这幅就在她鼻子底下的画面到底怎么回事?她一无所知。

散发着辉光的线条给地下的电磁场绘出了此起彼伏的脉络,跟电路图颇为相似。它们杂乱无章地从各个方向越过平原,相互结合在一起,然后,并没在她身上纠缠,而是在滑橇上汇聚。波顿的尸骸亮如霓虹灯。她的头部,裹在二氧化硫的雪团里,散发出迅速闪烁的光芒,明如太阳。

硫黃有静电。这意味着它受摩擦就会生成电场。

她拖着波顿的滑橇在艾奥星的硫黃地面上走了多少个小时了?这足以生成那么个见鬼的电场了。

那好吧。对于她亲眼所看到的这一切有了一个物理基础。假设艾奥星真的是一部机器,一个静电式的外星设备,尺寸足有地球的月亮那么大,在不知多少年前由什么神仙一般的怪物为了鬼才知道的目的建造起来,然后嘛,没错,它也许能跟她进行沟通。电子能干的事情多了去了。

较为次要的、更小的、更虚无缥缈的“电子元件”也到了玛莎身上。她低头看了看自己的双脚。她从地面抬起一只脚,接触被阻断了,电路不通了。等她的脚重新落下,又有新的线路生成。不管这种微弱的接触会产生什么,都是在持续不断地通断。相反,波顿的滑橇始终都与艾奥星的硫黃地面保持着畅通。波顿头颅上的窟窿就成了连通她大脑的高速路。她把它也用二氧化硫填住了。具有导电性而且还是超低温。她这事儿办得让艾奥省了不少事儿。

她把面板调回了增强的真实色彩。DV-3的 SFX[SFX即Special effects,影视特效。]式画面褪去。

那声音是真实存在的,将此作为一个假说姑且予以接受,胜过把它当作心理现象。艾奥能跟她沟通。它是一部机器。它是被造出来……

那么,又是谁建造的它呢?

嘀嘀。

“艾奥?你在听吗?”

“静夜静心聆听。天堂仙乐入耳。艾德蒙·汉密尔顿·希尔斯[艾德蒙·汉密尔顿·希尔斯(1810—1876),美国作家。]。”

“不错,太妙了,棒极了。听着,有件事我想弄明白点——是谁建造了你?”

“你。做的。”

玛莎略带狡诈地说:“那我就是你的创造者了,对吧?”

“是的。”

“我在家的时候是什么样?”

“想什么样。你就。是什么样。”

“我呼吸氧气还是甲烷?我有天线吗?触手呢?翅膀呢?我有几条腿 几只眼?几个脑袋?”

“如果。你想要。想要多少。就是多少。”

“有多少个我?”

“一个。”稍一停顿,“现在。”

“我以前到过这里,对吗?大家都喜欢我。能运动的智能生命体。然后我离开了。我离开多久了?”

沉默。“多久了……”她又问道。

“好久了。孤独。非常非常。好久了。”


深一脚,用力拖;浅一脚,用力拽;深一脚,用力拖。她走了多少个世纪了?感觉走了不少了,又是黑夜了。她的双臂感觉都要从骨架上脱落了。

真的,她应该把波顿丢下。她从没说过什么话,让玛莎觉得她在乎自己的尸体要停放在哪里,不管用什么方法。也许早就该想到埋在艾奥星上是个绝妙的主意。但玛莎并不是为她才这么做的,她是为自己这么做的。以此证明她一点都不自私。证明她对于别人也是有感情的。证明她这么做的动机不仅仅是为了名誉和荣耀。

当然了,这件事本身就是自私的表现——渴望让人知道自己并不自私。没救了。你可以把自己钉在一个该死的十字架上,而那依然是在证明你从骨子里就是自私的。

“你还在吗?艾奥?”

嘀嘀。

“在。听。”

“跟我说说你是怎么支配自己的吧。你有多大本事?你能不能让我比现在更快地到达着陆器那里?你能不能把着陆器带到我这里来?你能不能让我返回轨道器去?你能不能给我提供更多的氧气?”

“我躺在,死去的卵中。完整无缺。在一个我无法触及的完整无缺的世界上。普拉斯。”

“那你可真没什么用,对吧?”

没有回答。这可不是她期望的,也不是她需要的。她查了查地形图,发现自己又离着陆器近了八分之一英里。她现在甚至都能从头盔的图像增效画面上看到它了,地平线上一个朦胧的闪光点。图像增效,这东西太棒了。在这里,太阳能提供的光线只相当于地球上满月的亮度。木星自身的光线就更不用说了。然而提高放大率,她就能看到气闸在盼望着她那双戴着手套的手呢。

一步,一拽,又一步。玛莎在脑海里一遍又一遍做着计算。她只剩下三英里要走了,氧气足够撑那么久。着陆器上有自己的空气补给。她就要做到了。

也许她并不是一直以来自认为的那种彻头彻尾的失败者。也许说不定她还有救。

嘀嘀。

“做好。准备。”

“为啥?”

她脚下的地面鼓了起来,把她掀翻在地。


等震动停止了,玛莎摇摇晃晃地爬起来。她面前的大地一片狼藉,就仿佛有个粗心大意的神仙把这片大地掀起了一英尺又把它丢了回去。地平线上着陆器银色的闪光消失了。她把头盔的放大率调到最大,看到一条金属支腿从凌乱的地面上扭曲着伸向天空。

玛莎熟知着陆器每一根螺栓的剪切强度和每一条焊缝的强度极限。她很清楚它有多么脆弱。这台设备再也别想飞起来了。

她一动不动站在那里,眼睛一眨不眨,目中一片茫然,毫无知觉,一片空虚。

最后,她终于振作起来进行思考。也许是时候承认了:她从来就不相信自己能做到。做不到。玛莎·吉威尔森做不到!她这辈子都是个失败者。尽管有时候——就好比获得这次探险资格的时候——她是在比平常更高的级别上失败的。但她从未得到任何她真正想要的。

为什么是这样?她思忖着。她什么时候期盼过坏事?当她着手开始干正事的时候,她所想要的无非就是踹上帝的屁股一下让他关注自己。把动静搞大一点,搞出全宇宙最大的动静。这是不是太不讲理了?

现在,她将终结于此,充其量不过是人类向太空扩张的编年史当中的一个脚注。宇航员妈妈给宇航员宝宝在寒冷的冬夜讲的一个令人悲伤的、有教育意义的小故事而已。也许波顿就能返回着陆器。霍斯也行。但她不行。连可能性都没有。

嘀嘀。

“艾奥是太阳系火山运动最活跃的星体。”

“你这个混蛋!你怎么不警告我?”

“不。知。道。”

此时,她的诸般情感如惊涛骇浪般爆发出来。她想狂奔,想尖叫,想砸东西。可惜视线之内所有的东西都已经被砸碎了。“你这个混球!”她叫喊着,“你这个白痴机器!你有什么用?到底有什么鬼用?”

“能给你。永恒的生命。灵魂的交融。无限的处理的力量。能给波顿。同样的。”

“哈?”

“第一次死亡之后。不再会有另一次。迪伦·托马斯[迪伦·托马斯(1914—1953),威尔士诗人。]。”

“你说这个是什么意思?”

沉默。

“见鬼去吧,你这混账机器!你到底要说什么?”


这个时候,魔鬼带着耶稣进了圣城,让他站在神殿的最高处,并对他说:“若你是上帝之子,便请跳下去,因经书上写着:‘主会吩咐他的天使佑护你,用他们的手将你托起。’”[出自《圣经·马太福音》第四章。]

波顿可不是唯一会引经据典的人物。你不必非得成为天主教徒,就像她那样,或为长老会教友也行。

玛莎不确定她会把这种地理特征叫什么。某种火山现象,十分巨大,也许横跨了二十米的范围,不怎么高。就叫它火山口吧,管它呢。她颤颤巍巍地站在了它的边缘。在它底部是一池黑色的熔融的硫黃,跟艾奥告诉她的一样。估计它的底部一直深入到了冥府。

她头痛欲裂。

艾奥宣称——是说过——如果她让自己投身而入,那它就会把她吸收掉,复制她的神经系统模式,并据此让她重生。一种全然不同的生命,但确实是生命。“把波顿扔进去,”它说过,“把你自己投进去。物理结构将会。毁灭。神经结构将会。得到维护。也许。”

“也许?”

“波顿十分有限。在生理培养方面。要明白神经功能可能。不完好。”

“太妙了。”

“或者。也许并非那样。”

“你也有含糊的时候啊。”

火山口下的热量辐射上来。甚至在她宇航服的HVAC[heating、ventilation、air conditioning的缩写,也就是热量、通风、空调系统。]系统保护与屏蔽之下,她也能感觉到前胸与后背截然不同,就像是寒冷的夜晚站在火堆跟前。

他们谈了很长时间,或者也许用谈判这个词儿更合适。最后玛莎说的是:“你懂摩尔斯代码吗?你懂传统的拼法吗?”

“凡是波顿。懂的。就懂。”

“懂还是不懂,混蛋!”

“懂。”

“好的。那也许我们能做个交易。”


她抬头望向夜空。轨道器就在那里的某个地方,她很遗憾无法直接与霍斯通话、道别、感谢所有的一切。但艾奥说不用。她所计划的事情将会抬升火山并将所有的山峰高度拉平。这番动静将会让冥湖上出现那座桥时发生的地震相形见绌。

可这没法保证让相隔两方的人取得联系。

离子通量管道在地平线上方的某个地方弯出一条弧线,画出一个巨大的环形跃入木星的北极。头盔面板上的图像增效,让它犹如上帝之剑一般明亮。

就在她观察着的时候,它开始噼噼啪啪跳动起来,百万瓦特级的电力滴滴答答开始发报,就算是在地球上也能接收到。它会淹没每一台收音机,吞没太阳系中的每一频段的广播信号。

我是玛莎·吉威尔森,在艾奥星上讲话,代表伽利略卫星一号探测任务中的我自己,朱丽叶·波顿,已经死亡,以及雅各布·霍斯。我们有了一个重大的发现……

太阳系中的每一台电子设备都会随着它的乐章翩翩起舞。


波顿先去了,玛莎用力将滑橇一推,它飞了出去,飞到了空中。它越来越小,猛地一顿,溅起小小的一朵浪花。然后,并没有绚丽的烟火,让人略感失望,尸体缓缓沉入了黏稠漆黑的湖水中。

这看上去一点都不带劲儿。

还是……

“好吧,”她说,“交易就是交易。”她脚趾拼命扒住地面,用力伸开双臂。深深吸了口气。也许我终究还是会生还的,她心想。可能波顿已经开始融入艾奥那如海洋般浩瀚的思想之中了,并在等待着她加入一场人与人之间的炼金术般的结合。也许我将永生。谁知道呢?任何事都是可能的。

也许。

有那么一刻,似乎更像是有那么一种可能性,所有这一切只不过是一个幻觉。只不过是她大脑短路了,然后向着各个方向喷射出不良的化学物质。发疯。死亡之前一场宏伟的大梦。玛莎无从判断。

不管真相到底如何,都别无选择,只有一种方法去探个究竟。

她纵身一跃。

有那么一瞬,她在飞翔。


mp.weixin.qq.com/s/mVNQqlBEY-fPRPK5l26oxw